Keith's Guide to Zombie Survival
by Dragon Claw92
Summary: Ever wondered what to do, or what you're up against? Look no further than this guide! Keith's guide will tell you all you need to know, and maybe more, about surviving in a zombie apocalypse!
1. Disclaimer and Prologue

DISCLAIMER: Some of the 'my buddy Ellis' comments in this fic/guide are based on personal experiences, and most likely not effective for all players. This fic also is based on personal views, and not an unbiased one. Any opinions given are those of the author, and will not be shared by everyone. This guide, though somewhat informative, is meant mainly for light reading, and a bit of humor, and not a walkthrough, high quality game guide, etc.

PROLOGUE:

I would like to start off by thanking you for taking the time to read this guide. It's sure to tell you what you need to know for surviving even the roughest scenario a survivor could stumble into during a zombie apocalypse. My good buddy Ellis was more than willing to share valuable tips and tricks to dealing with infected of every type. I could tell you 'bout the time we snuck paintball guns onto a rollercoaster, since nobody else had done it before, but that wouldn't help you when you've got a charger on your tail. So instead I'll tell you 'bout how to survive, and work as a team for when you get stuck in the apocalypse. This guide is sure to be a life-saver.


	2. Part One, Chapter One

PART ONE: GETTING STARTED

Chapter One: Know Your Team

The key thing to surviving any zombie problem is teamwork. Know your team, and use what you know. If someone can't aim, or wastes resources, they can be effective decoys, or spotters for watching behind the rest of the group. Every team should have at least one of these types of people.

Another important member to know is the demo expert. Trusting this member with pipe bombs, Molotov cocktails, and other things that go bang, could save your life. A team with no demo-man won't last as easily or as long unless they have a decoy member or two to make up for it. Demo experts are often the first to grab a gas can, and will carry it until either attacked by a horde, or yelled at about holding the explosive material instead of shooting zombies when they probably should be.

A type of team member to try and avoid is an 'Alternative Idiot', or AI member. These types of people are notorious for wasting precious supplies, slowing teams down in a horde or Tank attack, more on those later, and complaining when other, smarter members get frustrated with them. First in the way and last to grasp a good idea, AI type members have very few promising qualities, and cause extreme frustration in a team. It's best not to get too fond of an Alternative Idiot, though having them fall behind as a protectoral, 'take one for the team' sort of set-up is always a good idea. The world will most likely have an unending supply of this type of survivor.

Brawler style survivors can be handy when ammo supplies are low, as they rarely pass up a chance to bludgeon, smash, or slice, any zombie within striking range. Though easy to catch in a spray of bullets, brawlers don't complain too much as long as they get to play with their favourite 'toy'. Though they are more likely to get incapacitated because of their methods, these survivors are incredibly useful against the more dangerous infected, such as Hunters, Jockeys, and Chargers. There are a few rare brawlers who are daring enough to out-right assault Witches or Tanks with melee weapons, and often have the scars and bruises to prove it.

An important survivor type to have is a strategist. Able to come up with impressive sounding plans on the spot, strategists are often the first ones to decipher how to deal with a Witch, be it sneaking past, or killing her. Most team member types get along with strategists, though this class and Alternative Idiots seldom find co-operation an easy thing to come by. Strategists also know when and when not to use medical supplies, another topic on which they and AI survivors struggle on seeing eye-to-eye with. Strategists are almost always the team leaders in apocalypse situations.

Just like infected, survivors can come in a classification I call the charger class. These 'lone wolf' team members frequently run off ahead of the rest of the group, and often wind up incapacitated, or in some cases, dead. Charger survivors often show little regard for the rest of their team, and are prone to getting into severe trouble because of it. Chargers can be divided into sub groups, as almost any class other than Alternative Idiots can produce a charger, though brawl-chargers are more commonly found.

A good example of another problematic classification would be the war-monger group. These kamikaze survivors are often the downfall of their team, as everything noisy, destructive, or otherwise horde-attracting, gives them incredible pleasure, even when the rest of their group begs them to be quiet. Strategists and war-mongers seldom get along, and the latter are disliked by many of the other classes as well.

Survivors who get a laugh at dealing with, or trying to deal with, Witches can be classified under the label of witch-hunters. Daredevils of disaster, these members deliberately seek out, disturb, and kill, or try to kill, any infected that cries and wails like a baby with a belly-ache. No matter what the rest of the team is doing, the witch-hunter can't help but bother any and every Witch they find. Though easily called dukes of hazard, witch-hunters have the uncanny ability to, for the most part, kill any Witch they disturb without being incapacitated by the wailing infected. Brawlers can be classified as witch-hunters as well if they notoriously seek out Witches. Witch-brawlers have a higher incap-to-death ratio than a regular witch-hunter, who's favored weapon is most often some variation or another of a shotgun, and cr0wning is a highly popular, and highly dangerous, sport among regular, shotgun-wielding witch-hunters.

Another class type is the worry-wart class. Protective of their entire team, this survivor type is an avid believer in the 'no man left behind' theory, and can get on the nerves of their entire team because of it. This class doesn't always understand the decoy/sacrificial theory, and will stay back to help the decoy until everyone is yelling at them to just get moving. It generally takes a fair bit of repetition to get the sacrifice concept into a worry-wart's head, but eventually they get the picture.

Finally, there are the sacrificers. This class of survivor will put themselves in every danger under the sun to protect the rest of their group. Any other class of survivor can be a sacrificer type member, and most will do it because they are going to die anyway, or are moving slower due to injury. Sacrificers often have issues with worry-warts, and Alternative Idiots.

Now that we've covered the classes of survivors, it's time to spend a while getting to know the enemy. My buddy Ellis was stuck on a burning building one time, and had to fight through five floors infested with zombies, and said that not all of them were 'normal'. So, in the next chapter, we'll take a look at the abnormal ones.


	3. Part One, Chapter Two

PART ONE: GETTING STARTED

Chapter Two: Know Your Zombies

Along with the regular, cannon-fodder type infected a survivor will meet, there are eight 'special' types as well, adding to the issue of reaching an evacuation point. This chapter will cover the basics of the eight abnormal zombie types a survivor can and will encounter outside the safe room.

First off, we'll take a look at the class most commonly known as Hunters. These sneaky infected will creep up on a survivor, pounce them, and proceed to claw, tear at, and otherwise maim the victim until the survivor either dies, or is rescued by a team member. However, despite the Hunter's speed and stealth, they all have a bad habit of screaming loudly when they pounce, giving a survivor warning before the oncoming attack, and thus a bit of time to move out of the way. My buddy Ellis mentioned that Hunters and other special infected seemed to target one specific guy in his group, and said it was probably his white, or formerly white, suit.

Next on the list of abnormal infected are the Spitters. These less-than-attractive zombies are capable, and will without fail, expectorate acidic bile at high velocity, and at great lengths. Notorious for covering a vast area with 'burning goo', Spitters often will pull a 'spit and run', ducking for cover while they 'reload' before promptly returning and spewing again when they have enough acid to do so. On a lighter note, they aren't overly sneaky, and will run out in plain view until they spit, leaving them to be relatively easy targets.

While on the topic of great expectorations, we'll cover the type of infected known commonly as Boomers. Earning their name from the fact that they explode when shot, showering anything and anyone in range with zombie-attracting bile. Not only do the Boomers explode, but they are notorious for spewing puke on any survivors that are unfortunate enough to get in range. Capable of upchucking enough liquid to thoroughly spatter an entire team of survivors, Boomers will 'spit and run' frequently, and on occasion jump off of buildings to dive bomb survivors and blow up on them. Boomer bile will always draw in a horde. My buddy Ellis said Boomers are easy to get warning for, as they make loud noises similar to belching or vomiting.

A danger to themselves as much as they are to survivors, the next type to look at would be the Jockeys. Fast and smaller than other infected, these hunched over zombies will jump on and 'ride' any survivor they can get their hands on. Capable of steering their victim around, a Jockey will ride a survivor into any nearby hazard, be it a fire, a witch, more on those later, Spitter goo, off cliffs, etc. My buddy Ellis told me Jockeys are easy to hear because of their maniacal laughter, but hard to shoot because of spontaneously moving side-to-side while advancing on a survivor.

Another type of infected that can have a serious impact on survivor success is the Charger. These deformed monstrosities, like their name implies, will charge at, and through, a crowd of survivors, carrying one with them as they run. Unable to change directions or stop once they've started, a Charger will only stop when they run into something more solid than they are, and will then proceed to pummel the daylights out of their catch, until either the Charger, or the Survivor, is killed. Not always easy to hear, these zombies are incredibly strong, and exceedingly fast. My buddy Ellis said he side-stepped out of the way of one and it died when it hit the wall. Apparently it only happened once.

The heaviest hitter in the infected nightmare is a type known as a Tank. True to their name, they are extremely hard to kill, massive and sturdily built, and can easily punt a survivor several meters back before the unfortunate victim even hits the ground. Tanks are notorious for pulling up heavy objects to use as throwing weapons, and are prone to tossing cars when they can reach them. These are by far the most dangerous type of special infected and require teamwork to bring down.

The type of infected that could be described as having the 'gift of grab' is called the Smoker. Easily heard because of their constant coughing and retching, these ghastly ghouls earned their name from the hazy cloud of 'mystery smoke' that hovers around them, and from the massive burst of it they produce when shot. Smokers can prove to be incredibly bothersome for a team of survivors, mostly because of their long ranged attack, which is heavily based on the zombie's excessively long 'tongue'. Capable of ensnaring a survivor from a long distance away, the Smoker reels in their unlucky victim, and proceeds to hack at them with its clawed fingers. Occasionally a Smoker cannot fully draw a victim, mainly because the infected is on a higher elevation, such as a roof. When this happens, gravity takes over, as the survivor most always suspended a foot or two off the ground. My buddy Ellis said he had to be rescued several times because he couldn't pull free on his own.

Last, but by far not the least, is the 'queen of mean' infected called the Witch. Generally rare and easily heard, this sobbing zombie will either wander around and bawl, or park herself somewhere and cry her diseased heart out. A Witch won't attack without provocation, caused by shining a flashlight on her, standing too close for two long, and the most obvious offence, shooting her or hitting her with something. When provoked or 'startled', this sob-story drama queen lives up to her name in full. Screaming like a banshee the whole time, a startled Witch will attack whoever startled her, and though she only targets that person, it only takes a single hit from her razor-sharp claws to incapacitate her unfortunate victim. My buddy Ellis said that, on the rare occasion, a Witch will turn and flee after downing her target, and that there was one time a Witch simply up and ran without attacking. He blamed his buddy, Nick.

Okay, so we've covered survivors and special infected. Now we'll take a look at the one thing saving a survivor from the infected horde. The next chapter of this guide will cover weaponry, both ranged and melee. Throwing weapons will also be looked at. So, let's investigate the most enjoyable part of the apocalypse; the survivor's arsenal.


End file.
